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                                         How a Leg Breaks for a Cigarette

Two friends meet on the street. One is limping.

Friend 1: Hey, what happened to your leg?
Friend 2: Don’t even ask, man. It’s because of a cigarette!
Friend 1: What? How could a cigarette break your leg?
Friend 2: I threw the cigarette into an open manhole.
Friend 1: So what? Why would that break your leg?
Friend 2: Out of habit, I tried to stomp it out with my foot.

Like Boyfriend, Like Girlfriend

Little Molly, just 3 years old, was scribbling away when her mom approached her.

Mom: Molly, my dear, what are you doing?
Molly: Writing a letter to Bunty, Mom.
Mom: But you don’t know how to write yet!
Molly: Bunty doesn’t know how to read either, Mom.

The Witnesses of the Thief

A lawyer is speaking to a thief in court.

Lawyer: You claim you’re innocent, but five witnesses say they saw you steal the watch from the shop.
Thief: Your Honor, I can bring 500 people who didn’t see me steal anything!